Someone asked "With all the pretense that seems to be the order of the day especially among ladies of today, how do we pick out the real Christian (I mean born again, because everyone is now a Christian)?"
In a world of religious confusion, there are still ways to recognize those who practice true Christianity? There are things that one can observe which indicates that a person is practicing God's ways or that a person is a true child of God.
I think it is first of all important to note that if you are looking for a "Bible wife" first, be a "Bible husband". If not you are actually not looking for a Christian girl, you are looking for a "good girl" (I guess I can put it that way). I have seen so many cases of men who are hell bent on having a strong Christian woman but who are lukewarm Christians themselves. They try to impress the girl by beefing up their acts of Christianity among other things and then they get married and end up quite unhappy complaining that they don't understand each other and don't enjoy the same things.
He wants to sit near the rich people in church so he can create more business contacts, she does not see why you should be looking for seemingly rich people to sit with because the house of God is not a private membership club. She feels where ever you sit you can hear the Word of God and inculcate it in your life and that will cause you to prosper. He might have a different idea of how to have fun; while he may like her to perform certain acts in the bedroom because he feels as a submissive wife she should want to please him and fulfil his desires. She feels there are certain things that a Christian couple should not engage in, even behind closed doors.
I could go on and on but the fact remains it will be easier if Christian brothers became the sort of men God expected them to be in the first place.
When Adam was in the garden of Eden, before Eve was given to him, he was tending to it, that was his job was to name the animals. He was taking care of the garden and doing his work, therefore to find a Christian wife you must have a job and you must be taking care of God's things. That way you will not maltreat the woman he gives you and you will be able to take care of her
Back to how we identify a Christian lady. When was she converted? Every born again Christian has a testimony of salvation: this is the point where an individual decides to commit to God. It could be when she answered an altar call or when she took a personal decision to either change or get closer to God.
The bible clearly states that by their fruit we shall know them. Galatians 5:22-23(NIV) "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." I think that would be the first thing to check.
The most outstanding mark of true Christians is that they have real love among themselves. [John 13:34,35.] They are not taught to think that they are better than people of other races or social status. God said: "At this Peter opened his mouth and said: "For a certainty I perceive that God is not partial, but in every nation the man that fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him."Acts 10:34,35. True Christians treat one another as brothers and sister.
Her Stand on purity is a major marker. She might like you and want the relationship to progress but will not sleep with you. Any attempt or group of attempts towards pre marital sex would be a put-off.
Certainly don't expect her to be perfect. But the efforts toward living according to biblical principles and trying to attain perfection will be undeniable. True Christians do not preach one thing and then practice another (Titus.1:15.16).
Sometimes it's easy to tell and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes you see some real bitter fruit and you can make a good guess. Some can put up a pretty good front. Jesus made it plain that the "wheat and the tares" were to grow together until the time of the harvest. We are to be discerning - for sure, but it isn't an exact science. Remember what the scriptures says: " Nevertheless, the hour is coming, and it is now, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for, indeed, the Father is looking for suchlike ones to worship him."John 4:23.
Above all, prayerfully look for your wife. If you need a wife, God knows who the perfect wife for you will be.
Ijeoma Olujekun
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