When your husband asks you to dress more sexy

Recently a lady who is a member of the Deeper Life Bible Church and married to a "Deeper Life man" had an issue. (Deeper Life Bible Church is known for its very conservative views and strict rules when it comes to female dressing)

Her husband called her and told her that he wanted her to become more Sexy for him, to perm her hair, wear earrings and wear more appealing clothes like knee length skirts and even bum shorts when they are alone at home.

She was confused. So she reached our to fellow sisters, asking "Is it okay to dress like this when your husband asks you to, or would you not do so and risk losing your husband?". She said she was confused. 

I'm sure some of you will be in shock like " Sister! Do you have to be told twice???"

But this is a serious issue and it's not just a question of going shopping for some sexy clothes. I do not believe in extremism. But I believe this lady's husband is seeing things outside which excite him but as a responsible Christian man, he would wish his wife excite him even more so there be no need for this external stimuli. I commend him for that.

One person opined "A Deeper Life Member's dressing should send a 'deeper' message to her husband when at home, not tying wrapper round her bosoms looking like old cargo. No matter how religious you are, you should dress to the taste of your husband. Some ladies have pushed their husbands to the devil through their uninformed attitudes"

Another person said "I would absolutely start to dress more sexy for my husband. If you can't do things to please him, who will you please? Put those booty shorts on and show your husband that you are up to spicing up your marriage."

You can't force people to change for you. Change comes from personal conviction otherwise it is pretence.  That's why you should open your eyes and marry someone who you are compatible with.He married her knowing her choice to be conservative. Why the sudden change? I fear that if this woman starts perming her hair, wearing earrings and bum shorts for her husband, she will become unhappy. She should be doing it mostly for herself. If she is forced to change her identity, no doubt she will become bitter about it. Even if she changes, the change will not last and she will revert back to her true identity.

If you belong to a congregation with very strict rules as to how a woman should dress in public, that is no excuse to lean back with a grandma nightie and a wrapper tied around your chest and bits of dried Cerelac in your hair under the multi-colored hairnet. I think all wives should always wear sexy things underneath. Lace panties and bra, satin or silk camisoles (depending on your budget), It does not have to be a G-sting because they are not comfortable for everyone and are sometimes impractical. That way he knows that under it all you are very sexy or sexual. It is your delicious secret and that is MUCH better than showing off all the goods to everyone, besides, those "goods" are for him, not everyone else around.

That said, women need to know that being married is not only about loyalty and child bearing. Romance is important also. An observation of the book of Songs of Solomon should give us an idea of how amorous love should be expressed. I mean that lady in Chapter 5 was nude, dripping their version of Chanel no.5 and waiting!

I am opposed to the idea that women should be seen as sex objects, women have so much to offer and as mothers, the future of the next generation lies in our hands. If you are dressing in a more provocative manner just to prevent your husband from cheating then I can tell you for free that a man who will cheat, will cheat. A husband who is unsatisfied with what he has, will certainly end up in the street no matter what his wife wears! Single ladies who show off ALL their assets in a bid for attention will attract such men. Your purpose for dressing the way he prefers, should be because of your love for him. If he feels good about how you look, you feel good and everyone is happy.

If your husband married you, I assume he sees you as beautiful already because men are visually stimulated but when I use the term "beauty" I use it loosely because when inner beauty is profound, it has a tangible effect on our vision. Some men see their wives as beautiful and are a bit over the top in trying to show their wives off! That man needs to realize a beautiful woman is always recognized as that...beautiful. A Christian woman should dress in clothes that are modest, compliment her body/features and make her comfortable and confident and she will be as smoking hot as anything.

Ijeoma Olujekun