How To Avoid Ruining Your Marriage (for married men) - Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

Rule 1: Never Be Unfaithful To Your Wife

This is a biggie. Marriage is sacred - whether you are religious or not. Being unfaithful to your wife not only proves to her that you disrespect her, but also that you are untrustworthy. Simply never even think about doing it, much less actually doing it. The excitement of an illicit affair is simply not worth the pain it brings.

Rule 2: Never Lie To Your Wife

Being truthful, and speaking only the truth, is the only way to ensure that you are never "caught out." If you lie to your wife you will be caught out at some stage, and then she will wonder how many other lies you have told her, and whether you can be trusted at all. It might be painful to tell the truth, but it is always less painful than being caught out lying.

Rule 3: Never Listen Half-heartedly When She Talks

Not listening when someone speaks is rude and shows disrespect for the person. If you do this your wife will grow to resent talking to you, and that is not a good position to get into in your relationship. Concentrate on what she says, and respond intelligently.

Rule 4: Don't Neglect To Assist With Household Tasks

This is an area where many men are guilty. If you do not assist your wife with the household tasks you communicate to her that she is only your slave. On its own it can already destroy any feelings that your wife has for you, and together with the other things we mention it just makes things worse. Help her with household tasks - and not only every now and then either. No, make it a habit to help her, and watch how her respect for you grows.

Rule 5: Do Not Point Out Her Shortcomings

We all have shortcomings because nobody is perfect. I bet you don't like it when someone points out your shortcomings to you, do you? No? Then do you think your wife enjoys it? Of course she doesn't. And she likes it even less when the person closest to her - her husband - is the one bringing it up. Only someone with a caveman attitude could argue that she "just has to take it" because she is inferior in any case. She is not inferior - God has made her extra special, in fact.

Rule 6: Do Not Lie On The Couch / Watch TV While She Works

We get back to the slave issue again. In the previous article I already pointed out that you should not let your wife get the impression that she is only a slave to you. Lying on the couch and leaving your wife to do all the work is nothing other than letting her be your slave. This type of behavior screams at your wife that you have no respect for her. If you indulge in this behavior you should NOT be surprised if she leaves you for someone who treats her with respect.

Rule 7: Help Her With The Children

We are decades past the time when it was the "little woman's job" to raise the kids, while her husband went out with his buddies. Not helping her with the kids - that YOU helped her produce, by the way - is not only part of your responsibility, but will also strengthen your relationship both with your wife and your children. An actively involved father is one way of ensuring well-balanced kids.

Rule 8: Do Not Compare Her To Other Women

How many guys can be married to the most beautiful woman on earth? Only one, because there is only one most beautiful woman. The others are second most beautiful, third most beautiful, etc. So there are ample opportunities to see women with lovelier hair, more beautiful eyes, trimmer figures, better legs, a tighter butt, slimmer tummy, etc. than your wife. But do you really have to pint this out? How would you like it if she begins to compare you to Kevin Costner, Brad Pitt and Leonardo di Caprio? Or to the better looking guy next door? Keep away from this destructive behavior and rather look for things to compliment her on. That will build you relationship rather than breaking it.

Rule 9: Do Not Criticize Everything She Does

Remember that criticism is one of the most destructive things we can do, so beware of this. If you want to criticize, rather think of another way of approaching the issue. Instead of saying, "Not fish again? You know I hate fish!" you could say, "Honey, even though I don't like fish, I know that the Omega oils are good for me and that you prepare it because you care for my health." That takes the criticism - and therefore the sting - out of what you say.

Rule 10: Do Not Leave Her Sexually Unsatisfied

A proper orgasm (or two or three or four orgasms) is something that gives your wife massive joy. It is your task, no your privilege, to assist her to reach massively satisfying, mind blowing orgasms. You should not have a "get" attitude towards sex (getting what you want), but rather a "give" attitude (giving her what she wants). If you just get on her, and roll over once you are done, then there is no joy in it for your wife. Remember that to your wife sex is almost as much an emotional act as it is a physical one. Learn all you can about becoming the type of lover for whom your wife will be glad to strip her clothes because you satisfy both her emotional and physical sexual needs.

Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

About the Author
Abimbola Rosemary "Bimbo" Odukoya (September 12, 1960 – December 11, 2005) was a Nigerian pastor and televangelist who was married to the founder of the Fountain of Life Church, Taiwo Odukoya