We're Just Ordinary People- Are All Christians Good Marriage Material?

Many of us bopped our heads to Ordinary People by John Legend. God knows, I sang that song from my heart! That's what we are.

Of all the assumptions I come across in marital complaints this is the saddest. A lady or guy says " I didn't know him so well before marriage, but he was a worker in church! Real Christian brother!",  "She was in the choir.", "He was always first at house fellowship, I never thought he would be so controlling" etc.

There seems to be this erroneous belief that once you meet someone in church, especially if they have a responsibility then they automatically good people and  score more points in terms of marriage material.

 In truth Christianity is not, at its core, about being “good.”  In fact Paul writes, “There is no one righteous, not even one...[f]or all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:10; 23).  Being a Christian is not about being a good person—it is about being saved through the grace of God in spite of the fact that we are not good people.

Ladies and gentlemen I hope I have made it clear. All Christians are just regular, normal, average people (just like you) and all people will let you down at one time or another. Christians are NOT perfectly good people; they are all sinners. We know that the essential message of Jesus was to be a good person and we Christians try to do good, but being imperfect we make mistakes and fail; but some of us try to be aware of their shortcomings and their sins while some of us heads in the clouds thinking we are perfect because know more scripture than the next man. They pray to God for strength, direction, for God’s grace and forgiveness because many of us are to some degree, self righteous and judgmental without even realizing it.

When looking for a spouse, by all means choose one that shares the same faith with you. But get to know this person, try to understand his or her uniqueness and make an informed decision in terms of marriage. learn how to separate a religious person from one who practices sincerely the tenets of his faith don't be beclouded by religion. In the meantime you might like to grab a copy of When Bad Christians Happen to Good People by Dave Burchet (will try to do a review).

Ijeoma Olujekun