We can’t completely rid ourselves of expectations–love
and respect are essentials. But as humans, we will all disappoint one another. Most people think of big things, like adultery and physical abuse, when they think of marriage deal-breakers. But then how come so many nice, reasonable, non-cheating and non-abusing people end up splitting up?
it’s often due to expectations: small insidious, everyday ones, that go unmet. They quietly wear away at your marriage day after day, night after night, week after week, not calling a lot of attention to themselves, just piling up until the foundation is buckling.
So you're married and you expect a little more money in your savings account, or that your husband spends his weekends helping you out around the house so that the burden of taking care of the kids is lighter?. That he would take you out on weekends and tell you how beautiful you are just like when you were dating. You might have expected him to be your social life, to make you happy, even though you yourself, might not be quite sure what really makes you happy or keeps you happy. You might have thought that wifey would be like your Mum but only better, at your beck and call, waiting on you all year round...
Over the course of your marriage you might feel the little stings of having been let down and the hunger for all round satisfaction might gnaw at you. Do not allow this to turn into martyrdom and resentment until our marriage crashes. Troubles don't last always.
Being understandably disappointed is fine, but it’s up to us to figure out a way to deal with those disappointments, express them if we must, ask our spouses to do better next time…and then forgive, forget, and let them go.
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