All the walls love can break and more

Hello everyone, it’s my birthday today *wide smile*. Thanks in advance for your congratulatory messages. It feels very good to be where I am right now and I type that not as a matter of pride. 

For a while now, my prayers have been filled with more gratitude and praise to the Lord ‘cause I feel like I have been singled out for blessings upon blessings. Life has been a special pal and I haven’t been a butt of its jokes in recent times (not like I intend to mock those on the other side). I hope you forgive all my blunders and just read this post with an open mind.

I already asked your indulgence so allow me to share with you that I miss my husband so much *wipes mock tears*. It’s supposed to be the first birthday we would spend together since we got married. He is not a romantic but with him I have learnt to understand his love more through his gestures. He sent me a simple message that I have read many times over, I am surprised my absence has improved his ‘word’ game. Sorry, I digressed, this post is not about me and my lovelife (as some would call it), I beg that you stay with me.

I have a habit of reflecting on things I have learnt over each year that has changed my life, but unlike most of my birthday posts, I am sharing this with a larger audience.

I grew up in a close knit nuclear family where we were taught to always look out for ourselves and love unconditionally. I remember my mum once had me locked in a room with my younger brother and wouldn’t allow us out till we ironed out our differences. Same can’t be said of my extended family. It wasn’t one filled with love and people allowing for mistakes. Family gatherings were ones where everyone walked around with an air of superiority and lies of the lives they wished they were living. I remember there was a time an aunt denied she was pregnant for fear she might lose the baby or so I thought (now, that was a little bit exaggerated) but I hope you understand the picture I am trying to paint. 

Back in those days, I had ideas formed in my head about who an aunt, uncle or cousin was and they weren’t pleasant. Family gatherings were always ones with carefully chosen words and plastic smiles one couldn’t wait to be rid off. The air was always thick with grudges that weren’t talked about and weren’t forgiven. I was a master at deceitful comments and actions and I had it at the back of my mind nobody could be trusted.

Over the years, some of us realised the mistakes our parents made and started reaching out. It’s very interesting to discover how alike we were in some things and how much love we were capable of showing when we decided to let our guards down.

One of the highest points of the bonding for me was the realisation that I had been wrong all along by my judgemental attitude. I learnt just how easy forgiveness is when one genuinely cares for another. I discovered most of the things I was mad about weren’t worth it and that we all had our individual struggles. It was very unfair to them that I never gave them a chance. Matter of fact, an aunt of mine inspired this post, I can’t imagine if I had passed through this life without meeting her. In the few weeks we have been bonding, she has taught me lots of life lessons. Her free spiritedness and liberal philosophy towards life are both enviable and encouraging.

Now I wonder where I got all those monstrous ideas and images I used to have from, as I get a year older today, I can firmly say that one of the best lessons of the past year is that “families might not be perfect but they are golden”. They are what I might have naively called little mercies like there are any mercies that are little. I wouldn’t trade mine for anything in the world.

I know there are many dysfunctional families out there and most of the problems originated from lack of communication and understanding, every crooked line can be made straight, you too can reach out today. Let love lead you.