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I came across this article in Ebony that made me have a flash back of 2002. One of my big brothers had met the love of his life and asked me to please help him tear pictures of his Exes. I wasn’t doing anything so I immediately obliged. Then he brought out the pictures.. I had to let out a short gasp “ Er, this is er, going to take longer than I thought…”
The funny thing was that, there was nothing overtly vulgar or scandalous, the images were not even provocative in nature just a few at beaches and pools but the ladies were never wearing anything indiscreet. But my dear brother Chinedu insisted on this ritual, it took ages, we were there well into the evening (I'm not exaggerating). He wanted to show his wife-to-be some respect.
The funny thing was that, there was nothing overtly vulgar or scandalous, the images were not even provocative in nature just a few at beaches and pools but the ladies were never wearing anything indiscreet. But my dear brother Chinedu insisted on this ritual, it took ages, we were there well into the evening (I'm not exaggerating). He wanted to show his wife-to-be some respect.
He decided to toss all the pictures of his exes, but some guys feel it is unfair to totally discard digital or physical images of international vacations and birthday gatherings you attended with exes, picnics, etc . After all, someone said “It’s not like these pictures would take up residence on the fridge right next to the future kids’ report cards.”
The question is should your life—past, present and future—coexist alongside this new stage of your life?
Personal mementos including long lost, love letters, photos and even gifts should be thoroughly vetted before the wedding day. Yeah, I know some guys and girls say they don’t concern themselves with each others' pasts (yeah right) and vice versa and the pictures, letters birthday cards and postcards are personal bookmarks in the journey of your life *yawn* and you should have an understanding based on trust; but in matters of marriage and exes, it’s always better to err on the side of caution.
Ladies, the teddy bear your ex gave you is cute and cuddly and holds "sentimental" value but perhaps it has to be thrown into the sentimental dustbin along with the card where he wrote the entire lyrics to "I will never Leave You" *rolls eyes* and guys, please go through your PC for pictures that are NSFW (Not Safe for Wife) long before the wedding day. Make no mistake, women are like cats--territorial!
By Ijeoma Olujekun
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