There is more to a relationship than you think

Someone told me that he knows his relationship will lead to marriage because he loves his partner but I told him that is not the only determinant of marriage. There are certain things to consider before going into a relationship and the first thing is to seek God’s direction. God says, “we should commit our ways into his hands and he will take absolute control”.

There are certain tips to consider before saying ‘yes’ to a relationship because relationships can go a long way, leading to marriage. A common saying that “a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage” but I tell you that a broken relationship sometimes lead to a broken marriage as a result of numerous heart breaks. You need to ask yourself the following questions before going into a relationship:

• Am I ready to accept this person as my spouse?
• Do I want to spend the rest of my life with him?
• Are we compatible?
• Is he/she a person who can keep to one woman/man?
• Do I want our children to take after my spouse?
• Is he/she someone I can introduce to my pastor, parents and even friends?

Don’t be fooled by the words “I love you”. Love is important in a relationship but the type of foundation laid by you and your partner will determine where the relationship leads to. I was told of a story of a lady whose fiancé ended (exactly a day after her birthday) their 3year-relationship because she got crippled in an accident on her way to see her fiance’s mother in the hospital. He left her for another lady without standing by her in her time of crisis.

No matter what happens to your partner, you should stand by him/her even if your spouse gets paralyzed after marriage. It takes loving your partner for better for worse to enjoy a lasting relationship. For the married couple, we all confessed during our marriage ceremonies that “I will love you for better for worse till death do us part”. ‘For worse’ part of the phrase means you will stand by your spouse even if he/she goes blind, or deaf or dumb, unemployed, sick, etc.

It's not just saying, “I love you” but prove it. Will you stop loving your wife if she gives birth to only girls or you will marry another wife to give you boys? My colleague used to say, “I love you” is a heavy word to say, you have to think before you say it. True love is all about sticking with your partner even if the world disapproves the relationship, with time they will approve it if they see how much you love each other.