Getting Christians Prepared For Sex In Marriage

I once talked with a young man who confessed that he strayed from his marriage and gave way to temptation. When I asked him why he did so, he said his wife was not romantic and he also had premature ejaculation issues.

He felt so inadequate and insecure that he was not satisfying his wife and sex was getting very boring. He found solace in his ex-girlfriend who made him feel like a man even with his "perceived inadequacies".

I then asked if he treated the subject of Sex in his premarital counselling classes. Unfortunately the answer was NO. It is interesting that some Christians are not ready for this aspect of life before they get married. And You don't have to be involved in this act before marriage because premarital Sex is NOT allowed.

Some might ask, "So how do I get prepared sexually for my marriage?"

• First of all, as uncomfortable as it might seem to talk about this topic, Sex plays a big role in every marriage. You need to understand this. It is one of the major causes of problems in homes.
• Secondly, you also need to understand the difference between the world's view of sex which might influenced you and God's view of Sex. You might have been influnced by friends, by the Television. Get to know God's idea of Sex. Read previous posts on Christians, God never intended sexual intimacy for procreation alone - Part 1 and Part 2.
• Thirdly, you need to understand the sexual differences between men and woman. When it comes to sex, men and women are wired differently.

I will like to recommend two books on the topic of Sex and getting to know what to expect.

1. The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye
2. Sheet Music by Dr Kevin Leman. However, Dr Leman recommends reading chapters one to four before marriage and another chapter that is written for men (if you are male) or women (if you are female). He strongly recommends waiting until after marriage to read the other chapters.

So do not be naive and jump in with your eyes closed. Get prepared. Read and be informed.