Often times, I
have heard ladies speak of meeting that special one and getting him hooked
forever. Oh Lord! If only this one will
stay some exclaim. Is it something I am doing wrongly? Some ask.
I cooked,
cleaned and made myself available in every way but he still dumped me and
married some other girl.
What can I do?
Sis, I
understand your plight, trust me I really do. I was advising a friend a while
ago and I made a representation with our growth as humans. Relationships are in
stages and while I understand a grown lady’s eagerness to settle, one needs to
understand what is needed at every stage. Don’t be in so much hurry that you
mess things up.
So, I am going
to share my two cents with you on what you might be doing wrongly .
-Don’t scare him
away by telling him all you want in a husband on the very first date. That is
just too much girl. You don’t want to be perceived as desperate. Get to know
him. Enjoy the food, chat about your interests. There is ample time to tell him
everything else in subsequent dates. The first date is about making an
impression and you don’t want him to perceive you as desperate.
-My dear, please
don’t assume where you are in a relationship. Let it be defined. By all means,
ask him what you are to him if you are not sure. Men can be undecided atimes,
don’t be caught up in that web of indecision while your heart is getting toyed with.
Let him put a name to it or just keep walking.
-Don’t be so
needy. Emotionally or materially. It is alright to let a man know how much he
means to you. However, don’t call him in the middle of a meeting, threatening
suicide if he doesn’t come see you immediately. Or asking a freshly employed
man to get you an iphone 6 for your birthday. Be reasonable please.
-Leave some
things to wonder. Stay in his thoughts for all the right reasons. Most men love
when they put in work. Some people are lucky to be married to a man they had
sex with on the first date but this is a small percentage compared to the large
population. Fornication is a sin but more so, it is God’s way of looking out for
our hearts. You would agree it is easier to move on when you are not getting
all muddled up in a sexual mess. Prepare him to have things to look up to. Let him
feel like he put in work. Don’t be so easy my dear. Most guys take this into consideration
(most of the ones I asked).
-Don’t turn
yourself to a maid because you are trying to show your domestic skills. A man
once said he didn’t marry his girlfriend of many years because he didn’t see
why he should. They were staying together and she does everything a wife does.
Marrying her according to him was just formalities. There was another time I
was listening to the radio and a woman shared her story that she had been
living with a man for the past 12 years and he still hasn’t married her after
three kids together because according to him he is not sure she is the one. You
need to understand where you stand in a man’s life, don’t do some things out of
desperation for his attention. Displaying your sexual and domestic skills
doesn’t guarantee commitment. Let him come to the understanding that you are
indeed a price so he can treat you so.
-Please don’t try
to manipulate him. If he loves you, let him come to a decision by himself. If he
can’t make that decision and you feel you can’t wait, then keep walking. Trust me,
there is someone tailor-made for you.
So, be yourself.
Enjoy life.
Have fun getting to know the other person.
Nurture the
relationship.
Don’t be playing
wife roles when you are just friends.
That knight in shining
armor knows he will be wrong if he doesn’t sweep you off your feet.
Don’t let the
pressure get to you dear, you are more in control of your life than you know. Having
a man in your life doesn’t validate you.
Above all, Prayerfully
ask God for guidance in taking decisions. You don’t want to embark on that
serious journey without directions from the One that knows all.
Stay blessed.
Photo Credit: lovethispic.com
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