The tensed atmosphere that has surrounded this election
period makes it really hard to think or focus on something else. Most conversations
are centered around who wins or loses. Truth be told I have had my eyes glued on
the TV while I have shamelessly stalked every page on the social media that has
some sort of political affiliation just to get any form of reliable info. I had to psyche myself to break out of this
momentary but very important distraction.It really has been an eventful and
emotional weekend for most Nigerians , I hope you all went out to vote? All we
can do now is to sit down and wait for the results to be read while praying
earnestly for peace.
I stumbled on this question i posed while stalking other pages for
election results(the way the internet is set up still amazes me, one minute you are in Nigeria and the next you are in Baghdad) and I threw it open for my colleagues at work to debate
upon. Most of them were of the opinion that one needed to date another person
for a period of at least six months before they start discussing marriage. According
to them, that period might not be enough to know about every skeleton in the
other person’s wardrobe but it is definitely enough for one to make up one’s
mind on whether or not there was a future in the relationship.
Relationships experience shift when the talk about marriage comes
up. It signals moving forward or just letting go depending on the commitment of the partners involved. Marriage issues in some situations requires walking on
egg shells. You don’t want to bring it up too early so as not to be seen as
desperate or too late less you miss your chance and be termed as insensitive.
Discussing marriage doesn’t
necessarily have to be after a period of at least six months. Many things come
into play here. One considers the age and readiness of the two people involved
in the relationship. I figure a woman of a ripe age of 30+ might not have the
time and patience a girl in her early twenties might have when it comes to
having the marriage talk. There are couples that discuss getting married from
after the third date. There was a man that was asking me out way back and he
made it clear from the beginning that he wanted something serious that could
probably lead to marriage. I didn’t feel the same urgency he felt but I didn’t think
it was totally inappropriate for him to mention it seeing as he was way older
than I am and he would have been interested in settling down faster.
Bringing it up early however might signal desperation on the
part of the person that raises it thereby scaribg away a 'good' prospect.So much as it might seem like the right
thing to discuss after the first two dates, you’ll do better to wait a few more
dates to get to know the other person more and also to know if you are on the
same page concerning the future. You need to be sure that you share a deep
sense of trust and intimacy that convinces you that it’s time for you two to
take things to the next level.
Staying 'forever' before discussing it might also mean unseriousness or that one is scared of commitment which either ways doesnt reflect well on the relationship. After the early period of getting used to each other, there is the need to look on to the next and if this period of transition never comes, it might have dire consequences.
The answer to the question posed would be not too early and not too late. Long as you
take into consideration all the other factors such as age, readiness ,
attraction and how well you know the other person.
However, If you are in a relationship for many years and
either of you has never talked about/thought about settling down with each other, you might
need to reevaluate that relationship.
Stay Blessed
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