Can you afford your wife to be a stay at home mom or are you one of those that thinks all she does is no big deal? Steve Nelms chose a side, he wrote a post I am
about to share trying to find the worth of everything his stay at home wife does
for him and their toddler and he came to the conclusion that there was no way
he could afford her. I find his thoughtfulness so genuine and sweet.
There are times we get used to our spouses and children that we think we deserve their sacrifice and
kindness thereby forgetting to appreciate their efforts towards the growth of
the family. This post puts it all in the right perspective, we are all superhumans in our
supposed ordinary ways and all efforts expended should be appreciated.
Find below the post, I hope
it inspires you to value the priceless people you have in your life.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I’ve had
this thought in my head for a while now. I’ve been thinking that I can’t afford
for my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, I don’t at all mean to offend anyone
with this post. I just have to say that for me personally, I can’t afford it.
I’d like to explain exactly what I mean by that so that no one thinks I’m in
any way devaluing Stay-At-Home Moms. On the contrary, I mean that I quite
literally cannot afford my wife to be staying at home. Here’s why...
My wife
stays home and takes care of our son every single day. She changes his diapers,
feeds him, plays with him, puts him down for his nap, and comforts him when
he’s upset. And that’s just the bare minimum. A child can typically get that
attention at a day-care. But on top of that, he is her only focus. There’s no
other children to tend to. He gets all of her. All of her
love, all of her time, all of her energy. She is always there, always near, and
always listening. Obviously, this is part of being a parent. You take care of
your child and you raise your child. But let’s face it. In our day and age,
every service (and I mean EVERY service) is hirable. There is a company ready
and willing to do just about anything. So while, yes, my wife is my son’s
mother and it is a natural result of being a parent to love and care for your
own child, there is also a very quantifiable dollar amount that can be
attributed to the services rendered. I am in no way trying to simplify,
objectify, or devalue the priceless love of a mother for her child. But let’s
be real. Pay day feels good for a reason. Because you’re seeing your hard work
appreciated in a tangible way that lets you “treat yo self”. And this is
exactly why I can’t afford my wife being a Stay-At-Home Mom. The national
average weekly salary for a full-time nanny is $705. That’s $36,660 a year.[1]
We make ends meet comfortably and are by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel. But according to the 2014 tax brackets, we fall nicely in the second tier, right in the $12,951-$49,400 tax range. Even if we were making the maximum amount allowed for our tax bracket, the services rendered of caring for our child every single day of the year would absorb the majority of our income. Flat out, no question, game over, I cannot afford my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. And that’s just the beginning of it.
A regular cleaning service costs anywhere between $50-$100 per visit, depending on how big your space is, how deep of a cleaning you want, and especially whether or not you have pets that shed like crazy.[2] FYI, I’m convinced our dog is short haired because he sheds every inch of it every minute of every day. It never even has a chance to grow. We also have a toddler, so those of you who are unfamiliar, that means a tissue box left unattended for approximately 18 seconds is completely emptied with its contents strewn across the apartment. Same with wipes. Toys rapidly find their way from his bedroom to the living room. Remotes go missing. The dog’s water bowl sometimes gets spilled. Books will occasionally fly off their shelves. So on and so forth. Picking up the apartment is part in parcel with keeping the place presentable. Not to mention the natural progression of dirty dishes, dusting, vacuuming, etc., etc. So assuming you want the place to stay relatively clean, especially whenever you have people over, you’re looking at $100 per week at the bare minimum to stay presentable. That adds up to a whopping $5,200 (again, excluding the extra deep cleaning, or quick pick up for hosting company).
Does your wife ever run errands for you? Buy the groceries? Get you a new pack of white undershirts? Personal shoppers on average run around $65 an hour.[3] (That’s excluding the couple thousand dollar membership fee required to utilize their services.) Average the amount of time spent at the grocery stores or department stores per week at 4 hours and you’re looking at around $260, and that’s an extremely conservative average. That’s $13,520 a year.
Does your wife ever cook dinner? Prepare lunch? Prepare lunch beforehand for you to take with you to work? A personal chef, preparing 2 servings of 5 meals can run from $400 and up. So assuming your Stay-At-Home wife prepares even a few meals a week, you’re looking at around $240 at least per week.[4] That’s $12,480 a year. And that’s excluding any hosting, any extra mouths to feed, or extra meals to cook or extra sides and entrees for pot lucks and holiday parties.
So far we’re looking at a grand total of $67,860! Remember, we’re working with extremely conservative averages here. That’s daily care for your child that the average full-time nanny would provide. That’s twice-a-week cleaning of your home by a maid service that gets the place presentable. That’s three meals prepared a week of only two servings. These numbers, for the most part, still fall embarrassingly short of all the things that are actually accomplished each and every week. And that’s only taking into account 3 services!
If your wife takes care of your budgeting, finances, and paying of bills, then add on $15 an hour for the average rate of a financial assistant.[5] If you’re in the corporate world and your wife plays any kind of role in professional interactions at business dinners, then add on $75 an hour for the average rate of a PR assistant.
We make ends meet comfortably and are by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel. But according to the 2014 tax brackets, we fall nicely in the second tier, right in the $12,951-$49,400 tax range. Even if we were making the maximum amount allowed for our tax bracket, the services rendered of caring for our child every single day of the year would absorb the majority of our income. Flat out, no question, game over, I cannot afford my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. And that’s just the beginning of it.
A regular cleaning service costs anywhere between $50-$100 per visit, depending on how big your space is, how deep of a cleaning you want, and especially whether or not you have pets that shed like crazy.[2] FYI, I’m convinced our dog is short haired because he sheds every inch of it every minute of every day. It never even has a chance to grow. We also have a toddler, so those of you who are unfamiliar, that means a tissue box left unattended for approximately 18 seconds is completely emptied with its contents strewn across the apartment. Same with wipes. Toys rapidly find their way from his bedroom to the living room. Remotes go missing. The dog’s water bowl sometimes gets spilled. Books will occasionally fly off their shelves. So on and so forth. Picking up the apartment is part in parcel with keeping the place presentable. Not to mention the natural progression of dirty dishes, dusting, vacuuming, etc., etc. So assuming you want the place to stay relatively clean, especially whenever you have people over, you’re looking at $100 per week at the bare minimum to stay presentable. That adds up to a whopping $5,200 (again, excluding the extra deep cleaning, or quick pick up for hosting company).
Does your wife ever run errands for you? Buy the groceries? Get you a new pack of white undershirts? Personal shoppers on average run around $65 an hour.[3] (That’s excluding the couple thousand dollar membership fee required to utilize their services.) Average the amount of time spent at the grocery stores or department stores per week at 4 hours and you’re looking at around $260, and that’s an extremely conservative average. That’s $13,520 a year.
Does your wife ever cook dinner? Prepare lunch? Prepare lunch beforehand for you to take with you to work? A personal chef, preparing 2 servings of 5 meals can run from $400 and up. So assuming your Stay-At-Home wife prepares even a few meals a week, you’re looking at around $240 at least per week.[4] That’s $12,480 a year. And that’s excluding any hosting, any extra mouths to feed, or extra meals to cook or extra sides and entrees for pot lucks and holiday parties.
So far we’re looking at a grand total of $67,860! Remember, we’re working with extremely conservative averages here. That’s daily care for your child that the average full-time nanny would provide. That’s twice-a-week cleaning of your home by a maid service that gets the place presentable. That’s three meals prepared a week of only two servings. These numbers, for the most part, still fall embarrassingly short of all the things that are actually accomplished each and every week. And that’s only taking into account 3 services!
If your wife takes care of your budgeting, finances, and paying of bills, then add on $15 an hour for the average rate of a financial assistant.[5] If you’re in the corporate world and your wife plays any kind of role in professional interactions at business dinners, then add on $75 an hour for the average rate of a PR assistant.
Read full post HERE.
Beautiful piece. I urge all Men to take out time and carefully go thru this wonderful write up. Godbless Steve Nelms. Thanks Fisayomi. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDelete