Don't Just Marry Your Best Friend! Embrace Lust!

There's a half-cooked ideology we always preach when we talk about marriage and relationships, and that's the ideology that we should all marry our best friends. I recently thought about this, and tried to imagine who my closest buddies are, and by no means did I feel any inclination towards any of them in terms of marriage or even a short-term relationship.

Best friends are awesome; we can do almost anything with them. They are the ones that don't tell us "I told you so" despite several warnings, they are the ones who just sit in silence with us when we are unhappy, they make us laugh, and they can make us cry when they are hurt. I often say a life without that kind of friend is lacking! The big question however is "do you have to marry your best friend?"

You are probably raising your eyebrows, and wondering what I am going on about. In a nutshell, here it is: Sometimes your best friend or even your soul mate is not your life partner. Many people do not realize this, hence they jump into marriage with their best friends. Many of us do not understand that besides the love friendship affords in relationships, there is a very real need for lust too! Yes lust! 

Lust is a key part of every successful marriage, it is a sexual attraction between partners that causes them to enjoy sexual relations with one another, not just in a bid to consummate the relationship and bear children, but also in a bid to bring them closer to one another.

The friendship in marriage is so often over-emphasized, it erases the important issue of lust in marriage too. To enjoy a successful and happy marriage, lust is important- lust for your partner in ways that you can't lust for your other friends. This is not to say friendship should not exist between couples at all. Friendship should be the foundation of every marriage! However, there is a need for some lust to exist on that foundation!

No matter how christian you are, sex is a part of marriage and you must enjoy it! Don't for the sake of marrying someone you believe to be pious, end up in a sex-less marriage, or one where you feel no lustful attraction towards the person you have sex with every night! This might explain why many marriages between best friends still suffer- so much to talk about and do together, but hardly any intimacy or sexual relations. Of course, it is only a matter of time before one partner longs for the sexual electricity and goes to seek it elsewhere! So don't just marry your best friend! Marry the friend you love and lust for. He or she might not be your best friend, but can be your best life partner. Friendship and lust can co-exist, and that is what you should aim for. XOXO