Love is a sweet thing. Giving one’s heart out to another and
allowing that person see all of one’s vulnerabilities is a leap of faith. One
might land in smelly murky waters with the stench and stain hard to wash away
or one might fortunately have a beautiful landing. However way it might turn
out, love is a risk worth taking. There are not many things that are more
pleasurable than the feeling of being loved back by the one one loves.
Some really great relationships have been known to end despite the fact that it was really promising. The end of such relationships can bring about lots of negativity. Remember heartbreaks are no respecters of character or background. It has
nothing to do with how softly you tread or how beautiful you look. Many
emotions will get misinterpreted as the main thing and someone always suffers
the brunt. If you understand how this works, you might not be too hard on
yourself but if you think it is something you did wrong when it is just the
nature of things, it might be hard for you to let go and move on.
There are always lessons to learn from everything we encounter.
Our primary goal in life should always be how to be better persons than who we
already are. Our conscience are great guides so if one thinks whatever happened
in one’s previous relationship was due to one’s gross indiscretion or awful
mannerisms, then amendments should be made. However, it doesn’t help over
thinking things and refusing to move on, especially when your partner has.
Bear the following in mind:
Deal with whatever baggage you might have before getting into
another relationship: If you think it is something you did wrong, then get a
grip and work on yourself. It is not the time to get into the next available
arms, you need to reflect on what happened and truly heal from whatever hurt or
anger you feel before moving on to another relationship.
Remember you are your own biggest cheerleader: it is not the time
for you to explore every flavor of ice-cream or check out every new pastry your
favourite restaurant is serving, rather you should invest your time in things
that would really make you happy. You owe it to yourself to look out for
yourself. If you don’t give yourself that good loving, how would someone else
be able to? Remind yourself how much fun God had creating
you. You are special and you should walk around with that knowing.
Engage in new ventures: Go out, make friends. Hang out with friends, travel to some place new, just don’t sit down and wallow in self-pity.Staying in the house alone will only keep bringing back memories that are better forgotten.
Stop stalking their social media pages: the social media makes
break ups even harder to admit with your ex being in your face with every
update. It is almost hard to ignore all the ‘happy’ pictures they post. If you
can’t help but resent how well your ex is doing, unfriend them, mute
notifications from their pages, just try and avoid what might bring back
memories that are better forgotten. At least, till you are in a place where you
can deal with it.
Stop judging everyone you meet based on your last experience: After
you might have completed your healing process and you are ready to mingle again,
be open minded. Everyone is different, the fact that your ex and you were
incompatible doesn’t stop you from giving someone else the chance. If you never
let them, you’d never know.
Have you ever been in a relationship that ended so badly with you still feeling attached to the other person? How did you get through it? Please share.
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