The idea of second chances is very well engraved in most religious doctrines. Irrespective of how badly a person has treated us, we are expected to forgive and forget. In order to prove we have forgotten, we are expected to give that person another chance to be a part of our lives. After following up on countless crime stories and disheartening tales of abuse, I have come to the conclusion that not everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes, it is best to forgive and forget without proving it to the other person. Here are three people I believe you should NOT consider giving a second chance.
1. The Backstabbing friend: Yes, we all say things about our friends when we are upset with them, but most of the time, such words are spoken without hurtful intentions, and sometimes we even forget we have said anything. However, there are those friends who go all out to destroy you; friends who sit silently while you are being crucified by others, and most especially friends who join others to ridicule you when things just aren't going well for you. These are friends you need to let go of. When you break that bond, there is no point trying to glue the ends back together. A friend who joins others to crucify you, or jumps at any opportunity to put you down is not your friend. No matter how hard such a friend tries to get back into your life, save yourself the betrayal and just keep such a person at arm's length.
2. The 'justified cheating' spouse: I know there have been some posts on the internet that romanticize cheating and ask the victim of a cheating spouse to try to understand why their partner cheated instead of just breaking things off and moving on. That's simply telling people cheating can be justified, and if it is it should be forgiven. Sadly, there are many people who walk around with this entitled attitude to cheating; people who believe you should get on board with the memo and stop whining about it. If you have such a person as an ex, looking to find a way back into your life, my advice is to forgive and move on. A person who believes cheating is justified either based on gender, or other factors you cannot fulfill will never stop cheating. If a person justifies cheating on you, you will never be good enough. Simply forgive and move on. No point giving second chances here.
3. The 'all about me' disappearing act: There are people who are simply high maintenance. Everything you do has to revolve around them or be about them. Anything short of that makes them question your loyalty towards them. As far as they are concerned, if you are not looking out for, or looking after them, you're not being a true friend. It would be all well and good if such people returned the favor. At least you'd know you're putting something in the piggy bank for later. But many of them don't! When you break down, they are either nowhere to be found, or they stay at a distance, because they don't want to be burdened with your problems. These are the sycophants in your life- those who hang around you for the good times because it serves them well, and disappear when you have nothing to offer. There is no point allowing such people drain you continuously. Again, forgive and forget by moving on!
XOXO
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