We can argue that no two marriages are the same but some things cut across most marriages and those things are what I will be sharing below.
Don't threaten your spouse with divorce:"I don't know how long I can keep up with this."
"This was all a terrible mistake, what was I thinking."
"I am tired of all this."
Sentences like this are just wrong. It ridicules the vows you made to be committed to your spouse at all times. It is a wrong way to react, there are other ways to right a wrong done.
You are just going to be cheapening your marriage and weakening the bond you share. Stop being so overly dramatic.
Be committed to making each other happy: the concept of happiness in marriage is some what tricky. If all you seek is your individual happiness at all times, then there might be a problem. You should see pass yourself a times and invest in the general happiness. You can't be blindly committed to your hobbies at the expense of family time all the time. You need to find a reasonable balance by making the right sacrifice.
Never speak to close friends and families about every issue you have: I don't mean this in terms of major cases of abuse but when it comes to minor disagreements, it is unfair to report to families and friends, who might be forced to take sides. Another thing is after you make up with your spouse, your family and friends may not be so open minded.
Don't be obtuse in making decisions: there is a reason why you both came together as one. Your spouse's opinions matter too.One person's aspirations is not more important than the other person's. Work together towards your goals. Support each other's dream so that one spouse doesn't hold grudges against the other.
Stop trying to fix your spouse,you were made to complement your spouse: I have heard this so many times but it came up again yesterday in church.The pastor gave an example of how a self motivated goal oriented man he knows complains a lot about how unmotivated his wife is . He said he reminded him that his strong points are there to complement his wife's weak points and that in doing things for her,she may likely change. But trying to make her change is only going to make him frustrated.
Make time for things you enjoy: this is mostly for balance. You want to remain happy in your relationship but if you feel like you have to give up on all other things that you used to enjoy. You may start to resent your Union. Just remember balance is principal.
Don't forget the place of God: commit everything into his hands always. You need more than your own wisdom to build a home.
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