It is difficult to find a good partner – Yes, I have heard that so many times, it bugs me. Women are mostly on the complaining end; many young men these days are either full of jokes, lies, or can’t tell what they want. Men are complaining too! Most women they meet are either after money, their status or the golden achievement - marriage. It’s not like wanting marriage is a bad thing but when a man meets a woman who wants marriage more than she wants him, there’s bound to be some trouble. This post is not about women though; it’s for men.
Many men do not realize that they set the stage for how their relationships turn out. They set the stage for the deceit they end up with, or for the gold-digging women who have absolutely nothing to offer in return. It is easier than you think to make the wrong first impression, and even easier to keep propagating that impression without really knowing it. I watch men do these things everyday, and sometimes, I feel the urge to shake them vigorously just so they wake up, but I figure that won’t help much, so I’d rather just write this post.
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#1 Stop approaching women with a marriage proposal: You may not know this, but starting off your relationship with someone you barely know by proposing marriage increases your chances of getting hooked to a desperado. Sadly, most of the men who do this are the good, stand up guys who are keen to settle down. Some of them get away with it, but many of them have tales of woes to share. If you have been doing this, stop it now; really please do. It scares away normal, intelligent women who have their lives together, and mostly attracts women who want to be hitched so badly, they’ll pretend for the few months leading to the wedding and unleash the dragon once you say “I do.”
#2 Stop asking unnecessary questions: Yes, some questions are completely unnecessary and off-putting. Some of them are inconsequential to how your relationship with the woman would play out, so why ask? Questions like “How many guys have you dated in the past? How many of them did you have sex with?” Erm… are you interested in who she is now, or the intricate details of her past? The important thing is she’s single, you like her, and you want to woo her. Quizzing her is unnecessary and might cause her to friend-zone you. Some off-putting questions are “can you even cook?” “how clean is your kitchen?” “how many times do you bath in day?” (For real, someone asked my friend that while he was trying to get her to agree to a date!). What do you aim to achieve with such questions? You want her to prove she can cook, she cleans and she conserves water? Why ask when you can discover for yourself as you get to know her?
#3 Stop assuming every woman is after your money: Well, this is the most atrocious one of all – the assumption that every woman is after money, so if you throw money at the woman you’re interested in, she will automatically jump on your bandwagon. Yes, money is great to have; sure, no woman wants to be poor or marry a poor man, but that does not automatically mean these women are simply focusing on how much you can give them! Gifts are amazing; I love gifts. But gifts without intellectual stimulation, warmth, integrity, and morality mean nothing. I find it funny that men approach every woman with this assumption, yet complain they are attracting empty barrels who simply want to look celebrities. If you assume every woman is after money, you will try to win every woman over with money, and that will attract the wrong kind of women. By all means, go on dates, have conversations, listen to what she is passionate about, be sure that she fits what you desire before you start investing in her financially.
Changing the way you approach women can save you a lot of heartache, and change the way your relationships play out. XOXO
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