Is Your Partner Dating You?

telegraph.co.uk

It may seem like an odd question but it is a valid one especially for the ladies today; although, I cannot deny the possibility that some men will relate to this post. Relationships are being considered to be achievements by many people these days; hence most people aren’t dating for the sake of having a partner they are committed to. People are dating just so they can tell people they have someone somewhere who they believe cares about them even though the real pictures suggest otherwise. 

I’ll just get right to it and say these days, many women are dating men who are not dating them and vice versa. Many women are heavily invested in relationships with men who are cannot be bothered to invest a single shred of their emotions in them. Many women are in relationships that have no direction or vision, and are simply going with the flow to avoid being single and treated like lepers by all their happily-dating, happily-engaged, and happily-married friends. Some women even go to the extent of making plans in their heads about relationships that do not have any impact on them whatsoever. The important thing for them is to be in a relationship, and earn the right to speak on relationship matters. To be praised by society for ‘achieving’ a romantic relationship albeit dysfunctional is a higher priority to many women than finding a relationship that serves a functional purpose. 

Understand this: If a man is not investing his time in you, then he is not dating you. If you have to fight and throw emotional tantrums on WhatsApp to get him to pay you a visit, he is not dating you. Yes, you might be dating him because he took time out to ask you to be exclusive, but that action alone is not enough for you to endure his pseudo-absence. A man who is into you will make time for you without you having to fight for it. 

If a man is not investing his energy and emotions, or sharing his knowledge and vision with you, he is not dating you. Don’t make excuses for him by saying he’s reserved. I am reserved and I talk when I’m with someone I care deeply about. That excuse is not valid. A man who simply picks you up for a good time, and drops you off till there’s another ‘good time hangout’ available is not dating you, even if you have it in your head that you are in a relationship with him. 

If a man is not investing any money in you, he is certainly not dating you. Now, understand that I don’t mean he has to deposit millions in your account or pay your tuition fees. No he doesn’t have to go that far. He does however has to show he’s into you through the gifts he gives, and the little contributions he makes to help make ends meet, even if you can afford it on your own. Many women are trying so hard to prove they are not gold diggers, they are ending up with men who see no need to invest in them financially. You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. A man who is dating you will invest in you financially too. 

Ladies, stop the cycle of trying to hold down the fort simply to prove you can make a relationship work. A relationship should not feel like work. It should be the one place where you feel your partner is with you every step of the way, and cares deeply about everything you wish to achieve.