How Do You Know Who The Right One Is?

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If there is one thing that confuses many young people today when it comes to relationships, it's the issue of trying to figure out who the right person to marry is. Men are just as confused as women, and many women struggle to differentiate wolves from sheep. It is even more daunting when you are inundated with options, and you are worried about choosing the wrong person while the right person is left behind in the pack. How do you know who the right person is?

First things first, when you are about to choose a partner, disregard societal constructs of what the perfect partner should look like. This is where many people, men and women included get it wrong. Society has an image of what the prefect partner should look like, and sadly, even in churches, there is an image of the perfect man. If you are choosing someone because he or she is perfect on paper, you are already setting your relationship for failure. So the ground rule here is to avoid choosing a person because they are perfect on society's paper. From here on, things become a bit easier. Now here are some  qualities to look out for. 

The right person for you will value you. There is a big difference between being wanted and being valued. Many people will want you during the course of your life because they can see the potential you carry, but only few of them will value you. How do you know you are valued? The person will take an interest in making sure you achieve what you are capable of. You will know you're valued because even on your worst days, you will be appreciated. 

The right person is patient, kind and encouraging. Bad day and you need to vent? The right person will listen, probably won't offer any advice instantly, but be a pillar of support. Feeling down on your luck? The right person has an encouraging word for such days. The right person is not aloof to your pain or your struggles and tries to be there for you as much as he or she can. 

The right person is the one you can talk with when you're not having sex. Many relationships are sadly built on sex and when there is no sex, there is not much to discuss, Sex is the roof of your relationship; communication is the foundation. If you cannot have decent conversations about your future together, joke about 'stuff' and talk about whatever tickles your fancy, sex will not hold the relationship together. A roof needs a house to stand on; a house needs a foundation.

If you'd like to read more on choosing the right partner, check out my blog at  motivationsprings.com