Are You Recycling You Exes?

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Recycling is in the in-thing. Everyone wants to go green for one simple reason - we are all afraid of the possible negative consequences that could emerge if we don't. I believe this is similar to the reason some people keep going back to their exes. So you've had a relationship with a person, things didn't work out because you were both immature about an issue, you go your separate ways for a while, get back together and things still manage to fall apart. Third time around, you are thinking of giving it another shot? Could the third time be your lucky charm?

The art of recycling exes is becoming more prevalent these days. Almost everyone I know is considering going back to that ex who was better than most in spite of the many ways the relationship failed. If that ex fails again, there's always another ex just around the corner who is manageable. Afterall, the devil you once knew is better than any new angel emerging, and we all know there are fewer angels these days. But is it wise to continue to go back to the past? Perhaps not. 

There is something about an ex that feels comfortable even if it's a bad ex. You feel comfortable because it is somewhere you have been before and it is the most familiar place to you in terms of a relationship. You already know the kinks and quirks, as well as the hell and high water this person is capable of invoking, so why not go back, instead of waiting for someone new, especially when no new person is rocking up. 

Friend, learn to look forward. An ex is comfortable because he or she is familiar but if they have not learned to love you the way you are, chances are you are going on a second roller-coaster ride that's leading nowhere. Learn to detach yourself from the relationships that hurt you and stop hoping for emotional restitution that makes you want to go back there. Cut yourself off from the hope that your ex will realize his or her mistake and come running back to you Telemundo style. There is a reason why that relationship didn't work, and except your ex has gone through a psychological and emotional overhaul, chances are nothing much has changed. So why hurt yourself? 

Look forward from now on. Stop entertaining thoughts of your ex coming back flowers in hand or on bended knees. You deserve much better than you give yourself credit for. You deserve a new platform, a new beginning, a new chance. Your ex might bring you that, but before you recycle, ensure that you're about to step into positive change not to sing the same old song. XOXO