Should You Tell the Officiating Minister at Your Wedding That You Are Pregnant?

For a wedding to take place, you need to have an officiating minister who might also double as your pre-marital and sometimes marital counsellor in the course of your marriage.

After all, it is like they say, “no one is the sole custodian of wisdom". For you to be properly guided by the counsellor, you should be upfront with the truth about your lovelife just like you would be if such person were your therapist.

This was what played in my mind as I binged on old episodes of Preachers of LA the other day. You see, as old fashioned as my TV taste can be, I find myself catching up on some episodes of these shows and I must confess real life gives fiction a run. The issues that unravel are sometimes jaw dropping.

For non-fans of the show, Minister Detrick Haddon is part of the cast and in one of the episodes; the issue that came up for discourse was in relation to the fact that his wife to be at the time was pregnant before they got married. It caused some uproar with Minister Detrick feeling pressured and judged by people. A major bone of contention was also that he held out that detail from the minister that officiated at the wedding.

The officiating Minister - Pastor Jay Hazslip found out later and was of the opinion that he was supposed to have been informed that the bride to be was pregnant. This is because being a Christian and a minister of God puts upon him certain standards to live by. He also stressed that he had people that look up to him as a mentor in different areas of life whom may be conflicted assuming that he approves pre-marital sex. He raised the point that officiating at a wedding with a pregnant bride is a serious enough issue to be discussed before he gives his blessings on the couple.

On the other hand Minister Haddon felt he owed him absolutely no explanation on whether or not his bride was pregnant before marriage. “His sex life should be his own private matter and how he decides to handle it shouldn’t be a topic up for discussion”, he said.

Seeing how the conversation played out gave me a reason to wonder at our lives as Christians .The bible is actually silent on the way weddings should be celebrated or officiated and while we might be unclear on some things, we are certain, pre marital sex is frowned at.

There are a lot of grey areas when it comes to officiating marriages, and as a couple desiring to be married by a minister of God, you should be upfront with any details you know might be against his beliefs. Do not be quick to scream foul when you know what you have done isn’t right. 

Nobody is perfect but sometimes it is right to acknowledge our weakness(s).

Of course, we do not answer to any earthly being but God.It isn’t a witch-hunt many times when questions are asked during counseling,it is just that marriage is a very serious institution and no one knows it all.

There is no condemnation in our Lord Jesus Christ and he is always there with open hands no matter how low we fall so it isn't about living a life of sin as it is about being guided in love.